Several years ago, the board of Equality Forum voted unanimously to create a panel focusing on the needs and issues of GLBT youth. The motivating event was the suicide of Jim Wheeler, a gay teenager from rural Lebanon, Pennsylvania.

The Jim Wheeler Youth Panel for 2003 took place on the afternoon of May 3 in the Prince Music Theatre. Benjie Nycum of Young Gay America moderated, and panelists included Jim Verraros, the openly gay finalist on the first season of American Idol; Elizabeth Wheeler, younger sister to Jim; and Scott MacPhee, mechanical engineering student and member of Young Gay America. Unlike the other panels of Equality Forum, where each speaker gave a prepared speech and took questions, the Youth Panel was more conversational and relaxed. Nycum asked short questions to the other three about their experiences and opinions.

The first question went to Wheeler, who was asked to repeat a story about a phone call she had received that morning. A gay friend had phoned, with both positive and negative experiences to coming out. While he felt liberated, his parents were not accepting. Wheeler told him to stay strong. If he can't change his parents, at least he should live his own life.
Nycum then asked Verraros to describe his coming out process on American Idol. He had kept an online journal during the early part of the show, describing, among other things, his orientation. The producers found out and made him remove it. While the given reason was that the journal might distract from the contest, Verraros suspected undercurrents of homophobia. His parents, who had newly found out, were worried for his safety. He said, "I should have done it [come out] when I first knew," but didn't want to be typecast as "the gay guy." However, he will be filming a gay romantic comedy over the summer.

MacPhee was asked to describe his experiences with GLBT youth in Croatia, where he spent five days at the Queer Zagreb event. "They're jumping into an entirely new social context," he said, which was both exciting and scary. It was a fast rather than a slow transition-from the closet in a conservative society to loud and open pride. However, Croatia seemed to making progress, as there were fewer protestors than the year before.

Nycum then returned to Verraros and asked him to talk about his first gay social experiences. He had none in high school, and his first year of college at Monmouth College offered little to gay students. His second college, Columbia in Chicago, was largely gay and very gay-friendly, and was close to Chicago's Boystown. However, he quickly became jaded because of reactions to his earlier weight, which eventually resulted in him losing about seventy pounds. Now living in Los Angeles, Verraros admits that Hollywood is more appearance-oriented, but it's easier to be gay in a large city.

Wheeler then spoke about her brother Jim, and how physical appearances affected his life. He thought himself to be unattractive and ugly, and constantly changed his appearance: dyeing and cutting his hair, piercing and tattooing his body.

Moving to images and the media, Verraros said that it's difficult not to compare oneself to models and celebrities on television and in magazine. According to him, the focus in the media is on looks rather than character. "It's hard not to get jaded, especially in the gay community," which seems so much more image-oriented than the mainstream. However, Verraros was quick to note the positive effect of gay characters in the media, citing Six Feet Under, Will and Grace, and Rosie O'Donnell. Wheeler added Dawson's Creek to the list. MacPhee agreed, saying that while he didn't feel he needed to be grateful for any one show, any fair representation of gays was positive.

Nycum then shifted the topic, asking Verraros about his future plans. After filming his gay romantic comedy, in which he plays a shy gay student in love with his roommate, he has no firm contracts. He talked about possibly starting a magazine. In his mind, this magazine wouldn't be image-driven, and would emphasize character and content. Apparently, it would also be "intellectual and literate," featuring the achievements of real people.

Next, Nycum asked Wheeler to describe the process of founding a gay-straight alliance at her school. Wheeler quickly corrected him: she hadn't organized the GSA; her friends had. It was more of a support group than a real union between gays and straights, since all the members were gay. She also remarked that at her school, teasing was no longer a major issue for GLBT students, as someone will stand up against it. She then told how two boys were caught kissing at school, and were suspended for five days. However, a straight couple was caught having sex, and was suspended for ten days, so she wasn't sure if any prejudice was involved.

MacPhee then talked about his parent's probable reaction to the Jim in Bold documentary, which had premiered at Equality Forum the night before and which had featured MacPhee. He said that his mother would probably like it, but he wasn't out to his father, and couldn't predict the reaction. He laughed that he was speaking in a gay youth panel, and would soon be seen nationwide in a gay documentary, but wasn't completely out of the closet.
Then the discussion was opened to questions from the audience. The first came from a teenage girl who said that it was hard to find gay magazines in smaller towns in rural area and asked Verraros how he planned to make his potential magazine available. Nycum actually answered, having the experience of working at gay youth magazine XY before leaving to found Young Gay America with his partner. He said that it is extremely difficult to get issues to smaller outlets, and recommended that the girl and her friends repeatedly request the magazines they wanted.

The same girl then asked Wheeler how people had treated her after her brother's suicide. Wheeler responded that she had been in middle school at the time, but there had been nothing too bad. It was no secret that Jim had killed himself; there had been newspaper coverage, and she herself had recently written an article for the school paper on homophobia.

Another teenage girl then asked Verraros about the experience of being closeted during American Idol. He responded that everyone on the show, including the other contestants, knew he was gay. However, since AI is about persona and image, not simply vocals, he stayed quiet.

A third teenage girl then asked the panel about their reactions to Senator Rick Santorum's comments in the Associated Press equating homosexuality with bestiality, incest, and adultery. Wheeler rolled her eyes and said that was an ignorant moron. Verraros angrily said that it was ridiculous that Santorum is given any attention. MacPhee said that at his school, the gay group had been compared to the Ku Klux Klan. Nycum gave the most thoughtful answer. He said that the comments indicate desperation, and didn't help Santorum. He went on, saying that America was in a "scary time," when civil liberties were threatened by an oppressive government, and mentioned the Patriot Acts. The attitude of Santorum, who suggestively favors a government with the power to restrict citizens' private behavior, is bigger than a gay issue: "This is an American problem."

A teenage boy then asked for advice for young activists, and mentioned how his high school refused to allow a GSA on campus. MacPhee told him to simply be himself and do what he could. Verraros advised him to connect to local universities. Nycum said for the boy to tell his school that they're ridiculous and that he should keep fighting and find a faculty sponsor. He said that a vision for the group was the most important thing; he must imagine a gay group that the school depends on for a variety of issues, not simply an insular gay perspective.

Another teenage girl asked Nycum and MacPhee, who travel around the continent interviewing gay youth for Young Gay America, if GLBT youth had depression. MacPhee answered that being gay and coming out were still difficult, but times are changing. Teenagers are coming out younger and in greater numbers, giving others in the closet role models and less isolation. The impact on young people is great. Nycum answered that Young Gay America receives about 70-100 emails per week, most dealing with coming out, from youth aged twelve to eighteen. He said that the period of coming out is short compared that of previous gay generations, about two weeks from crisis to resolution. However, he cautioned against sounding too optimistic.

A man then asked about the effect of GLSEN (Gay, Lesbian, Straight Education Network) and teacher groups on youth. Nycum answered that he had a gay teacher in seventh grade, and it had a small impact on him. Teachers have a role, even if they're not active in GLBT issues. Verraros had a gay teacher in middle school, and it was comforting for him, and helped him through a "horrid time." Wheeler said that there were many gay teachers at her school, while MacPhee said that he never knew of any gay teachers.
The last question was from a teenage boy, who asked how to fight the Westboro Baptist Church, the religious group that travels around the country announcing "God Hates Fags." Verraros wondered if it was the same group that created the website www.godhatesfags.com (it is) and told how he wrote them a long email and received a response saying simply: "God hates fags. God hates America. God hates you." He angrily wondered who allowed extreme groups to hurt people so much. However, Nycum quickly argued that one must let people say what they want to say, since censorship is worse than the sentiments themselves.

At this point, Malcolm Lazin, Executive Director for Equality Forum, took the stag and announced that time was up for the panel. He thanked the panelists and the audience and said the world was moving closer to the day when sexual orientation was a complete non-issue. Pointing to the confident, resilient, and proud gay youth chronicled in JIM IN BOLD and the photography exhibit Exuberance!, Lazin told the gathering that it was only a matter of time before GLBT people achieved complete equality.

Gary Davidoff writes for campusphilly.org.