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Share
your Story on PROJECT1138.com!
We
are collecting the personal stories of couples in long-term
relationships who are desiring full marriage equality!
Please
send us an email briefly telling us your story -- how you
met, how long you've been together, if you have children,
etc. Please attach a photo of yourselves, and show the world
that you don't deserve discrimination.
By
sending us your story and photo, you grant us permission
to post the materials on our Web site, and to release the
information to the press. Equality Forum reserves the right
to edit stories in regard to length or grammar. Your email
address will not be posted.
Send
us your story: project1138@equalityforum.com
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KC
& Katie
I am 30 years old and in hospice for Lou Gehrig's Disease.
(Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis or ALS) My body just doesn't
respect my intentions anymore and we were broken hearted that
we could not be there to show our solidarity for PROJECT 1138.
Katie and I just moved back to PA from Cape Cod (yeah, P-town)
where we moved in 2002 so that we could spend what we were
told would be our final months together in a place of extraordinary
beauty and unbelievable acceptance. BUT....we proved the doctors
wrong and I continued to live despite being told twice even
in P-town that I had only months and at one time hours to
live. If finances weren't an issue we would still be there
soaking in the love and enjoying the freedom to be an uninhibited
openly lesbian couple. But Cape Cod is not for the faint of
wallet. LOL
Ironically, because Katie is not my legal spouse she was able
to be paid by the state for taking care of me. But as the
marriage war waged on in Massachusetts we decided we would
rather be legally married and give up the money that was helping
to keep us afloat.
We never got to make that choice though, thanks to the men
and women in the State House, but we had a ceremony anyway.
It would be such a comfort to know that Katie could continue
to receive my Social Security when I do die just as any legally
married surviving spouse would. That money would pay the rent
and allow her as much time as she needs to grieve and move
on. |
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Joel
& Bob
We met at the Drudry Lane bar (no longer there) in Philadelphia
on June 16, 1978. After almost twenty-six years together,
we are still very much in love and are best friends. We attribute
the success of our relationship to open discussion so that
disagreements are not left to fester. Equally important to
our relationship is sharing and respecting one another. Though
our relationship is recognized in Philadelphia, we strongly
believe in working to bring about gay marriage with the legal
advantages that straight couples have. |
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Jodi
& Marie
We met over 10 years ago. I was going through a divorce and
Jodi had already gone through one. She was a single mom with
a 6 year old son working full time and completing her nursing
degree. Something just "clicked" when we met. We
didn't really understand it right away, but obviously we finally
realized we were meant to be together and have been so ever
since. Jodi's son is now 16 and we have added to our family
by having a daughter who is now almost 7 years old. We have
struggled through custody and support battles, the effects
of chronic illness and the associated costs, both monetary
and emotional, some of which were made worse by the fact that
we are not considered a "couple" and therefore,
do not have the same rights as a married couple. Although
I don't think either of us would ever "marry" again
- we certainly believe we deserve to have the same rights
as any other couple. We have set up legal protections, but
know that there is always uncertainty. Although my large Catholic
family professes to understand and abide by my wishes, especially
where our daughter is concerned, I am never 100% sure that
my rights will be upheld should I suddenly be unable to make
competent decisions. I personally believe "marriage"
is a religious concept that belongs in the "church"
where it was conceived. Civil unions, however, are a "state"
concept and should be available to us all. |
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Gerry
& Ken
Ken and I had both been divorced when we met at the old Drury
Lane Bar in September, 1982, and we had out first date on
Halloween almost 22 years ago, celebrating that date as our
anniversary. Ken soon moved from Brooklyn to Philadelphia
to live with me, although he commuted back to work in Manhattan
for 15 years. When we moved to Trenton to be closer to his
job, they transferred him to Philadelphia! The relationship
has had its tough times, but our love for each other somehow
won out and saw us through the difficulties. Relationships
take work and committment since egos and expectations sometimes
get in the way.
Ken is Afro-American, had been born in Harlem, and was raised
as a Catholic; I had been born on a farm and raised as a Methodist
in Arkansas where racism was as rampant and rabid as homophobia.
Although we have experienced bigotry in several forms in Philadelphia,
we have traveled extensively in Europe and in much of America
without experiencing much overt discrimination.
My ex-wife, a liberal, knew I was gay before we married, but
thought (and hoped) we could overcome it. We parted as friends
after 17 years of marriage, finally admitting neither of us
was happy. Ken's ex-wife didn't know about his orientation
at their separation, and moved with their 2 children back
to South Carolina. She hasn't yet quite forgiven him for their
separation, although she did spend several Christmases and
summer trips with us, together with his children. We each
now have 2 grown children -- 3 boys and a girl -- and all
4 are heterosexual, 2 being married and a third to be married
soon. All the children visited us frequently over the years
and accepted the relationship from the beginning. Only 1 now
lives in Philadelphia, and he and his wife are liberal (radical?)
activists involved in the Peace movement. When the children
were pre-teens, we once even stayed with my ex-wife and her
husband at their beach house in Rehoboth Beach where we did
the baby-sitting for the four children while the ex and her
husband went to dinner, and then they were the baby-sitters
as we went out to the Renegade Bar.
We are now open with our families, who now accept us as being
coupled and part of the family. My family was more concerned
about the racial issues than sexual orientation when we visited
them in Arkansas, although it took a few years for them to
get used to both. Ken's family has always treated me as one
of the family, even in those years before our relationship
was clear to them. Ken even recently accompanied me to my
high-school reunion in a rural town in East Arkansas (all
white then, but since integrated with difficulty), and was
treated almost as any other spouse (ignored mostly), although
I did get some religious hate mail afterward from the woman
who was the daughter of the Baptist preacher, and whom I had
once dated.
We currently have as friends a number of gay couples who have
been together for about as long as we have been. We also have
many close straight friends, especially in our church family.
We became members of the First Unitarian Church in Philadelphia
17 years ago and have been welcomed as a couple and have been
intimately involved and integrated into the church family
ever since. The church has a group for BGLT concerns and has
a Welcoming Congregation program. We have resisted having
a ceremony of union in the church until it becomes legally
meaningful, although several gay/lesbian couples in the church
have had the ceremony. We have prepared all the legal and
financial documents to protect us as and our assets as much
as possible, but would appreciate having the guarantees that
straights take for granted.
We are concerned about the agenda of the Religious Right and
contribute to liberal causes pledged to freedom for all. We
look forward to retirement and spending our remaining years
together. |
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Larry
& Alexis
"Who do you think is going to win?" he asked, April
18, 2002 at the annual Philadelphia Miss Bob and Barbara TransGirl
Pageant. "Nizah Morris," I replied confidently but
shyly. I was a double winner that night. I had picked the
next reigning Miss B&B, and met my true love. "He"
turned out to be Larry. I turned out to be a mid-trans-girl
that Larry loved regardless of where I was in the transition.
Our hearts haven't been separated since that night. We were
both previously married, both divorced, both never so much
in love with each other…and both find it ironic
that "commitment" currently carries a double-standard.
I dream of one day walking down the aisle with my husband,
Larry. Hopefully "We the People" will walk with
us as well. |
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Carol
& Ramona
Carol and I chatted on gay.com before we met on April 6, 2001.
She met me at my work. And our first date was to Dunkin Donuts
in central NJ. Carol and I happen to be Dunkin Donuts junkie,
so it went well. We went to Vermont to have our civil union
June 23, 2003. When we came back to Pa. two weeks after, our
love was put to a BIG test on July 13, 2003--at 4am Carol
and I were hit head-on by a drunk driver on the Atlantic City
Expressway 20 minutes from home. I received the full impact
of the car crash, Carol had minor injuries. My lower back
was crushed and I had to go immediately to Cooper medical
emergency. Carol and I had done a living will and power of
attorney--she had to come back home to bring proof to the
hospital that she can see me and speak for me since i could
not. My only visits were from her--my family lived too far.
On June 15, 2003 I had surgery--I have 2 titanium rods and
8 screws. The surgery was suppose to last for four hours but
it lasted six. The doctor told her everything about my health
she was able to see me in the ICU for two days. The point
of this--I feel if we were MARRIED she would not have to go
through so much trouble looking for our will and power of
attorney. Through all this we stayed strong, our LOVE stronger
and better. She helped me with my bandages and my physical
therapy and till this present day I'm thankful for gay.com
and for her being in my life. Love ya wifeeee! |
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George
& Spencer
Spencer and I met in October 1996 at "Safe Space,"
an LGBT student group at West Chester University in Pennsylvania.
After "coming out" just a few months earlier, I
was searching for some sort of local support group, mainly
to make a few friends. Spencer was President of the group
at that time, and he had arranged for me to come to the meeting
in late October. We immediately hit it off, and have been
together ever since.
While our family and friends have been very supportive, we
have faced some obstacles along the way. Our financial position
has suffered due to the denial of the tax priviledges that
many heterosexual couples are entitled to. We have encountered
a lot of negativity from our state representatives, namely
Senator Rick Santorum and local representative Curt Schroeder.
Their archaic views have been a major setback for the citizens
of Pennsylvania, and to us personally.
Spencer and I have managed to start our own gift business
in Downingtown, PA. Fortunately, Spencer's employer offers
domestic partner benefits, otherwise I never would have been
able to quit my job to run the business. We proudly display
the rainbow flag on our store windows to let the community
know that we are there.
As most gay citizens of this country, Spencer and I eagerly
await the day when our relationship will be recognized as
equal under the laws of the land. Hopefully, that day will
come soon. |
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Nancy
& Lilli
Nancy and I met on May 9, 1984; fell in love right away; got
engaged on August 3; bought a house together in May 1986;
and were married on December 27, 1986, in Key West by MCC
minister Steve Torrence. We started the first positively oriented
AIDS support group (empowerment counseling group) for the
Whitman-Walker Clinic in Washington, DC; and started the Program
for Creative Self-Development (later called the Community
for CSD) in 1992 to empower Gay women and men and all Gay-friendly
people. Nancy is a metaphysical counselor and writer. I am
a psychotherapist and fiddler. One of our favorite things
has been to cruise with Olivia -- ten times so far! |
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Mary
& Laurie
Laurie and I met in 1995 at a mutual friend's house. At the
time, I had just lost a relationship and really wasn't looking
for a new one. We enjoyed each other's company and would meet
at events and parties that our friends would hold. We began
spending our nights together and had a commitment ceremony
in 1997. We have been living in Lansdowne with our three cats
since then. However, we had been hearing about the ceremonies
in San Francisco and considered going, but the long lines
and the daily possibility of the ceremonies being stopped
... along with our lack of funds ... stopped us from going.
However, a few weeks ago we heard that New Paltz NY was holding
weddings (not just commitment ceremonies) were going on. We
decided that, since I had friends who lived in New Paltz that
I had met online, it would be a way to visit them and to get
married (at least legally in NY). We just came from there
and are now married. We are pleased to add our names to the
list of those who are married in the eyes of God (and the
Goddess) no matter what local and federal law states. |
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Joe
& John
We met in September 1989, I was on vacation visiting relatives
in New Jersey (at the time I was currently living in Florida).
To end my vacation I went out to a local club, spotted this
wonderful guy, we danced, exchanged phone numbers. I went
back to Florida and asked for a transfer to NJ. I received
the transfer in October 1989, my first call was to John. Ever
since then we have been together celebrating our lives. On
April 16th 2004 with our family present we were married in
Toronto. |
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Brian
& Jessie
Jessie and I met back in August of 1983 and decided to make
it officially a relationship on September 1, 1983. I was 19
and Jessie was 18 and we have been together for 21 years this
coming September of 2004. We have been through so much together,
good and bad but, our relationship has lasted longer than
most pepople we know who have been in relationships,...both
gay and straight.
We have recently bought our first home together which we have
worked very hard to be able to do. And we are in Bridgeport,
CT (which has the higest property taxes in the nation)...we
have two cars and two dogs (L.B. & Pudgie) which also
have to be kept licensed and so on....we have all the same
responsibilities of any married couple but we would like to
make them "legal" as well as adding the benifits
that married heterosexual couples take for granted every day.
We are currently paying almost double the taxes that we would
have to if we could file joint tax returns,...state and federal.
I am currently self-employed and just turned 40 and because
I cannot be added to Jessie's employee insurance,...I am paying
almost $500 monthly for private health insurance and that
doesn't cover dental. There are many other issues that everyone
is aware of so, I won't go on....
We are very much in LOVE and I know I couldn't imagine life
without my lover, partner, and most of all,....MY BEST FIREND.....Jessie. |
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Koshin
& Chodo
Seven years ago, this gorgeous man walked into the temple
where I practice. I was struck with awe. After that night,
he didn't return. Five years later, he turned up again in
the zendo. That whole morning my meditation practice was waiting
for the walking meditation—when I got to peek at him.
My heart leapt. A friend of mine was volunteering with him
at a nearby hospice. Two weeks later she got back to me, and
she told me she'd spoken with him about me. A week later,
after the Sunday morning meditation, he asked me for my number.
From that day on, we saw each other everyday. At the time
we were living at opposite sides of the city, but we always
made sure to see each other even for five minutes to kiss
under an umbrella on a corner in the rain. The past two years
have been full of great love—bike rides through Central
Park, travels to Japan, being together on silent week and
month long meditation retreats, working as hospital chaplains,
and keeping the relationship alive with great care. We will
get married in the Fall of 2005.
May we live in a country that celebrates all marriages as
much as our religious tradition and families do. |
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Elaina
& Wendy
Elaina and I met 6 years ago thru a PGN Personal AD. Elaina
and I both came out very young, she was 15 and I was 18 years
old. We were both looking for that special person to spend
our lives with. Even though, we are very different, there
was an amazing connection and we both wanted the same things
from life. We were married 3 year after we met on July 13,
2001, at the Cock n' Bull Restaurant in Lahaska, PA. Reverend
Karla Fleshman of Metropolitan Community Church married us
in a beautiful ceremony in front of all of our family members
and friends. We are now in the process of starting a family.
We just want the same rights for our future children that
all straight couples enjoy. Elaina risks her life every day
as a government and community firefighter, yet I am not eligible
for her pension if something happens to her. We do not want
Special Rights, We want the Same Rights!! |
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Pete
& Kevin
Kevin and I are completely committed to each other and plan
to grow old together. We met August 2002 in a Club in New
Jersey. I lived in New Jersey at the time and Kevin lived
in Delaware. From the moment we first met, we knew we were
meant to be together. We did several car trips back and forth
between NJ and Delaware that weekend. However, by the end
of that weekend, we proclaimed our love for one another. I
was ready to move to Delaware to be with Kevin, but I had
a lease on my apartment. I was still willing to move and just
pay the rent so I could be with him. Good sense came through
and we waited till the beginning of the last month of my lease
to move me to Delaware. I have no regrets about moving to
Delaware, even if to date, i am still making over an hour
drive to work each day. I would not change anything. Kevin
and I exchanged rings our first Christmas and hope to some
day be able to marry. We will be together for two years this
coming August 23. There is not a day go by that we don't tell
each other how much we love each other. |
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Monique
& Vinnie
This past February, we celebrated our 10th anniversary. From
the first night we met at a local club to present day, we
have been inseparable and can't imagine either of our lives
without each other. Monique was 18 years old and had been
"out" for the past two years of her life. I was
slightly older and at the time considered myself "bi-curious"
as I knew I was attracted to women since high school, but
was afraid to make that first step. Monique made that first
step the easiest and best one I ever made!
As with any couple, there are ups and downs, good times and
bad, but for such a young couple starting out, I think we
did pretty good! From her dealing with my insecurities with
her past romances and me dealing with her fights to retain
custody of her son, we have stuck together and come out all
the stronger. We now are an older and wiser couple and have
a 13 year old son, who is an absolute cutie if I may say so
myself and not sound partial!
So why is it that we cannot stand in front of a judge and
become "wife and wife" legally? Why is it that our
son has a mother and an "aunt" because the law does
not allow us to marry and subsequently allow me to adopt him
as my son? Why is it that we work, grocery shop, take family
trips, attend PTA Meetings, etc., just as heterosexual families,
but are still discriminated against? Are our lives out of
the ordinary? I don't think so!
No, we should not depend on the law to legitimize something
we feel in our hearts, but we should depend on the law for
equality for all people. Consider this, if laws did not change
to reflect equality, racism would still be tolerable and women
would not have the right to vote. How is this law any less
discriminatory than those of "olden times"?
I hope we all come out and support Project 1138, homosexuals
and heterosexuals alike. It may not be your issue this time,
but what happens when it is? |
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Edrie
& Jan
On June 20, we will celebrate our 45th anniversary. We met
at UC Berkeley in 1959 (yes, Jan was a Professor and Edrie
a student, but by June, Edrie had turned 21 and graduated!).
Even though we were young, we considered the question of commitment
carefully and felt that we were choosing to be partners forever
at the same time that ours is a day-by-day choice of our love
and of our life together. We remain a “romantic”
couple (at least in our own eyes); passion, mystery, style
and adventure animate our life story. We have known that community
and the contexts within which one lives matter in the fulfillment
of the positive potentials of life and love. We consider ourselves
activists because we have been out lesbians through almost
all of our life together and we know we were blessed to live
most of our time in gay populated worlds (the arts, women’s
sports, Fire Island, South Beach, academe) that all supported
our life and our vision.
Though we have found a creative and productive path for ourselves,
like all gays we confront unjust barriers to responsible planning
for inevitable health and estate matters. It should not be
necessary for each gay/lesbian couple to invent or assemble
the myriad practical and legal means to support them in social
or spiritual realms. Marriage, as a confirmation of legal
standing and social recognition should be a minimal right
of choice for committed couples. As a couple, we do not need
marriage to make our anniversary celebration any more real
or joyous, but it would make it more just and forthright in
a democratic society. |
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Joette
& Stacy
I am going to tell you a story about how Stacy and I met and
how much love and support we give to each other. I worked
for a nursing agency who contracted me to go to a long term
care facility (which I will not mention the name, you will
realize why shortly). Since I work for a temp agency I meet
a lot of new people all the time and up to this point was
completely heterosexual (I never found myself attracted to
the same sex before) and I already have a two year old son.
When I arrived at this facility I immediately was attracted
to Stacy, who was going through hell trying to cope with losing
her partner of 10 years. I, at the same time, was going through
hard times with my son's father, our relationship in the gutter.
I was so attracted to her that I literally told everyone I
knew--even my therapist, who knew in the end that we would
end up together. At this point we were building an awesome
friendship, one that I longed for my whole life. Growing up
I always hung out with guys and girls and I rarely got along
and when we did it was just to use me. Now Stacy knew she
was gay almost her whole life but me I still wasn't quite
sure until our relationship grew into something more, love.
I finally found my soul mate and a true best friend. During
the time we started our friendship I got hired at the aforementioned
facility working full time, which meant I would see her almost
everyday. All of our co-workers knew she was gay, since she
worked there for 8 years, but they all thought I was straight
since I just freshly separated from my son's father. All during
our friendship and the relationship that was developing we
kept it separate from our careers, I didn't have to be with
her and her with me but after work.... Until people started
talking about how friendly we became, and our boss had the
audasity to talk to me about making it work out with my ex
(that was abusive) instead of being in a sinful relationship.
Mind you we never specifically said anything out of the ordinary
about us, it was our co-workers talking. Finally, I guess,
my boss had enough and I was terminated, and my boss specifically
said it had nothing to do with my job performance, it just
wasn't working out. And close to 6 months later they pushed
Stacy out the door without a question. When this happened
I decided to become more involved in gay rights and signed
up on the HRC website. When my family saw how happy and finally
settled in my skin I had become they had no choice but to
love Stacy for who she is, just like I do. My family being
so supportive helped my coming out more easy then if they
wouldn't have. They call Stacy my guardian angel, she would
give me the shirt off her back and I would for her. My son
loves her as much as he loves me, thank god, and his father
is supportive of our partnership. Back in March I decided,
on a whim, to call the radio station Y100, since they were
talking about marriage of gays and one of them was a minister,
and asked them if they would marry us. They originally wanted
a group but no one else would stand up for their rights. About
3 days later they had a flower and music donation and we did
the ceremony on the radio. CN8, channel 29, and NBC 10 were
there also. We stood up for what we believe in along with
putting sense of humor into it. I can't believe that the government
would want to continue violence in families instead of giving
rights to gays to have a complete family. Growing up you are
raised to believe you will have this beautiful wedding and
all the perks that go along with it but when you finally find
the one and only love of your life the government turns you
down because of your sex!!! How discriminatory. Thank you
for giving me a chance to drop you the story about Stacy and
me. I can't wait until PROJECT 1138. See ya there. |
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Jessica
& Rachelle
Rachelle and I became pen pals when we were 14 years old.
There was no way for me to know then that when we finally
met in person 3 years later, my life would change forever.
Falling in love with a girl was something I had never thought
about but from the second it happened I knew there was no
turning back. They say first loves never die and now I would
have to agree. Rachelle has always lived in Philadelphia and
I have always lived in Austin, Texas. We broke up when we
were 17 knowing that going to college and trying to make "us"
work wasn't possible at that time. We lost touch with each
other for 5 years; yet there was never more than a few days
that would pass that I wouldn't think of her. It wasn't until
New Year's Eve 2003 that I would see her again. She heard
I was in New York City on vacation and found my phone number.
When I picked up the phone and she informed me that she'd
like to come up and see me. I felt that nervous sickness that
being in love always causes. What amazed me most is that when
I opened my hotel room door and saw her, it was like no time
had passed at all. I have always claimed that we had some
undeniable connection that I have never felt with anyone else
and that moment proved me right. From that day on we have
rearranged our lives to be together. As a first grade teacher
I have the helpful bonus of summers and vacations off of work;
so after spending a summer with Rachelle in Philadelphia I
knew I would be moving there. I had to finish the school year
in Austin but we have managed to see each other every few
weekends and every extended vacation this year. We decided
to get married in San Francisco on March 15, 2004. After planning
our trip there and securing a professional photographer and
a friend to serve as videographer we were devastated to get
the news on March 11, that the California Supreme Court had
halted San Francisco weddings. Through the sadness we regrouped
our thoughts and decided to go to San Francisco on Saturday
as planned and then fly to Portland, Oregon on Monday just
for the day to get married there (our flight home left that
night at 1 a.m. from San Francisco). As I arrived in Philadelphia
from Austin a few hours before our San Francisco flight, I
had a voicemail from a friend in Portland saying that their
City Commissioners were going to put a halt on weddings until
noon on Monday (our wedding day) and then announce whether
they would continue with them or not. Not being able to fathom
being in Portland and hearing that we were once again not
allowed to marry each other we decided to cancel our entire
trip a few hours before we left. Although we felt incredibly
sad and hurt by this and could not understand why our love
for each other and desire to make a lifelong commitment to
each other would ever be forbidden by law, we also decided
we were not taking no for an answer. The next day (Sunday)
we woke up and drove 8 hours to Vermont and had a civil union
on March 15th, 2004 (our original wedding date). I am moving
to Philly next month and then our lives together will truly
begin---FINALLY- after 10 years. |
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Polly
& Tori
Polly and I met online 2 years ago. Neither of us were looking
for a relationship, but after talking online for 13 hours,
we knew we needed to meet. The problem was, she lived 3,000
miles away, in Las Vegas, NV, and I was here in Pennsylvania.
After 3 months of lengthy phone calls and hours and hours
of instant messages, we couldn't take being so far apart,
and Polly flew out here to meet me. Three days later, everything
I owned was in my car, and we were heading to Vegas. In the
past 2 years, we have lived in 3 states, 5 different houses
and we have faced innumerable obstacles, prejudices, and hard
times. We still love each other more each day, and are still
the strongest couple we know. All we want is to be legally
married and raise our family. |
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Frank
& Terry
Frank and I met four years ago on April 4 at the Double L
in Rehoboth Beach, DE. We were both there to join a bear club
and meet new people. He was from Ocean City, NJ and I lived
in Bear, DE. We started talking and having a good time. Frank
asked me out for the next night to hang out with him and a
friend in Baltimore. I said OK, so we made plans to meet up
the next night in Baltimore. I left with my friend and went
home to get a whopping 3 hours sleep so I could go to work
the next morning. The next day and he called in the middle
of the day to make sure I made it OK and if I want to still
go out. I said of course I wouldn't miss it. I met him at
a bar in Baltimore and we had fun going from bar to bar in
the rain. At the end of the night Frank asked me to stay with
him on his buddies boat in the Inner Harbor. As we drove into
the parking lot to head down to the boat the rain turned in
a heavy snow. So we stood on the dock watching the snow come
down with the lights from the buildings twinkling around us.
We kissed and stood there and held each other. The next day
we had brunch and went back our separate ways, he called me
on the way home just to say he had a great time and can't
wait to see me again. When he got home to Ocean City he called
and asked if he could see me again, He wanted to drive back
over to Bear and spend some time with me and he did. Three
months later he landed a great job in Daytona Beach and asked
me to move with him. I thought for about 3 seconds and said
sure. I quit my job of ten years and we started our lives
together. We now have a beautiful home that we had built for
us and our two great dogs Abby and Tommy. Thanks for giving
us a chance to tell our story. |
 |
Michelle
& Christie
We met in the Fall of 1997, I was a Senior and Christy was
a Freshmen at Rosemont College. We were both involved with
other people but became fast friends. Over the next 2 years
we grew to be very close friends, experienced some real heartbreak
in our respective relationships and found comfort and understanding
in one another. Eventually we both became aware that our feelings
were evolving into something more than friendship. To make
a long story short, I asked her to dance, she said yes, we
fell in love and we haven't stopped dancing!
On April 26, 2002 we held a committment ceremony and reception
where we publicly celebrated our relationship with 75 friends
and family members. It was a magical night, we shared our
vows, reflected on love and we danced to our song; we felt
so supported and loved. We share our lives in a marriage in
the truest sense of the word, we are as married as any of
our straight friends, yet we do not have the same rights and
protections that so many others take for granted.
The moment it becomes legal, we'll make our plans to be legally
married and celebrate once again! This time the celebration
will include a victory, not just a victory for the GBLT community
but for every citizen who will be able to say that we truly
are a country in which it is recognized that all citizens
are equal.
|
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Julissa
& Stephenie
We met on july 21st--it was love at first sight. I saw her
several months ago before we met and I knew then that she
was the one that I wanted to be with for the rest of my llife.
Our relationship started out good, but then there was always
someone there to get in between us. But as the time went by
we realized that we really love each other and we want to
be together for the rest of our lives. It's been nine months
and now we learned not to let anything or anybody get in between
us. We are now trying to get along and make things work between
us--so far everything is alright but we still have some things
to work on, but I know that everything will work out for us
and i love her and i want to spend the rest of my life with
her. All the words in this world can not explain how much
I care about her and how much i really love her. She is my
heart and my soul. When I see her I get a big smile on my
face and there is no one in this world that can ever take
her place. She will always hold the key to my heart. My heart
has a lock on it and she is the only one that holds the key.
Without her my life is imcomplete; when she is not around,
it feels like a piece of my heart is ripped apart--that how
strong our love is for each other. She will be the one that
every morning when I open my eyes she is there right beside
me. I want her to be the first one I see and the last one
I see, And she is the one I want to marry. |
|
Heather
& Nikki
It was the first day of school in Jr. High. I was in 8th grade
and Nikki was in 7th. It was after homeroom let out when I
saw her and a friend of hers called Shannon. I went over to
them and basically said "Hi!" I couldn't keep my
eyes off of Nikki and I didn't know it then but I had fallen
in love with her. Now I'm not one of these people who don't
believe in love at first sight but it happened. Nikki took
one look at me and practiacally flipped out and ran behind
Shannon.
All I could see was her beautiful hazel eyes staring back
into my blue ones. Shannon said "Hi" back and then
moved out of my way so Nikki could say Hello to me but she
didn't so I said "I don't bite darlin."
She blushed and giggled, I rolled my eyes, collected my books
and left. The next day she came back over to me and just said
"Hi!" like nothing happened & from then on we
became insepreable. We didn't know that we were gay at the
time but everyone joked about us being "High School Sweethearts."
How right they were!!
We were the best of friends for 10 years then in 1996 we gave
into our feelings that were repressed for the longest time.
We have been with each other counting our friendship 19 wonderful
years together & I would not have given that up for anything! |
|
Pat
& Carole
My name is Pat and I am 54 years old. My Partner Is Carole
and she is 44 years old. We met in the Marine Corps and we
are both honorably discharged Vets. She was from Maryland
and I was from Philly so I brought her home to live here.
We moved to Bucks County 14 years ago and are very happy and
still in love! We plan to go to Boston on our anniversary
in June to get married in legal contract to protect each other.
We were Married in Ceremony in 1993 by a female Minister of
the MCC.
I have fought for civil rights all my life for Gays and Blacks
and all people. I am happy I lived to see the day that a marriage
license would be granted to gay couples as they were in CA.
We love each other as if we met two months and not twenty
four years ago. Our family supports us and they want to come
to the wedding in Mass. We are crossing our fingers that law
makers will not call upon a law from 1930 about not marrying
out of state couples if their home state deems it illegal.
We must do this now for us and the young ones that will come
after us. Stand up and fight! Never back down! Demand what
is yours by the Constitution. The Constitution that we took
an oath to protect as Marines. |
 |
Rae
& Adina
Rae and I met on PlanetOut.com just over two years ago. It
was funny--we had both seen one another's profile, and even
printed them out--but continued to date other people, seemingly
never bound to get together. After what was several months
of continuously dating others yet still searching PNO profiles
regularly, Rae says my profile came up in every search she
would do. So she emailed me.
When I saw her email, I knew exactly who she was and remembered
her profile--I was thrilled that she listed SUV's as one of
the things she hated! We started to date a week later. After
4 months of casual dating, things were still "open,"
and I bumped into an old college crush at NYC Pride. She and
I hit it off well, and began dating long-distance. Slowly,
my relationship with Rae turned into a friendship. She began
dating someone else as well, only, it was funny--neither of
us ever talked about our respective relationships any time
we were together with one another--which was all the time.
In fact, Rae and I spent more time with each other than we
did with our girlfriends.
Slowly, our friendship developed into a best friendship. We
were inseparable. In February of '02 there was a huge snowstorm.
Rae invited me to go to a bar with her and some friends. While
there, I put two-and-two together to figure out she was dating
one of the women that was there (a closeted woman, so their
relationship had been a secret). I was shocked--not so much
at this discovery, but at the discovery that I was insanely
jealous!
Long story short, we both ended up realizing that our supposed
"best friendship" was a mask for being head-over-heels,
meant-to-be love. We broke up with our other girlfriends and
have been together ever since.
Our families and friends all completely adore us as a couple
and wish us the best in our hopes to marry and unite as a
family. We are looking forward to May 2nd, when we have the
opportunity to be surrounded by other happy and proud couples. |
 |
Chris
& Eric
Eric and I have been together for almost 5 years. We met each
other in a bar in my (Chris's) home town. I have to say it
might not have been love at first sight but you could tell
there was a connection. Eric and I started dated the day we
met. I thought it was a little fast but I took the chance
on him. I soon fell in love with him. I found out shortly
after we started dating that he had a baby on the way. And
I had to confess to him that I also had a child. My daughter
was 10 at the time. I was happy to have another baby in my
life and took them both as a happy family. When Trinity was
born it was the second most happiess day in my life. The first
being my daughter's birth. On August 25th of 2002 Eric and
i got married. We didn't care if it was legal or not. We were
married in the eyes of God and our friends. We didn't and
still don"t have a lot of money but as a family we stand
as one. I have been so grateful to have trin, eric and ashley
(my daughter) in my life and i would love to have a marriage
that was legal in the eyes of the law. We have seen so much
hardship . Being denied housing for being a same-sex couple,
proper medical care, or jobs that just didn't treat us right
because of it. Eric, I and the kids have been through so much
but we still have hope for a brighter future. |
|
|
Colette
& Shannon
Our story is truly one of fate. The odds of us meeting and
being together could have only been one of a power greater
than ourselves.
I was in Oregon getting out of a very destructive relationship
and Colette was in Pennsylvania. I was having a real rough
time and had no one to talk to about it. I got online one
night, just reaching out for someone to talk to and there
she was. I certainly wasn't looking for a relationship, I
just needed a friend. After many attempts of getting someone
to have a real conversation with, Colette finely said, "Ok,
what's your problem." From those four words typed on
the screen, I had no idea the amazing journey that I was about
to forego.
Colette and I immediately clicked. We became true friends.
How do you do that online? I had no face to put with the words.
I didn't need that though. Something deep within my soul told
me that Colette was the genuine article. That she wasn't some
psychopath.
We started talking on the phone. There was something very
safe in her voice. I had never been able to have some of the
stupid conversations we had for hours upon hours with anyone
else before. Like why caterpillars are fuzzy. That paisley
isn't actually a color of it's own.
Anyway, we finally met. Things didn't go to well at first.
I was scared. I had been very hurt many times. I was scared
to put myself out there again. Colette fell in love with me,
and I with her. But I couldn't let that happen. I couldn't
be hurt again. But something happened. The harder I pushed
her away, the more I fell in love. And she didn't go anywhere.
She stayed. Finally, I had to let my walls down one more time.
I couldn't help it. There was an unbelievable force driving
me towards her. I had no idea how great it could be to truly
love and be loved. For the first time in my life, I had something
worth living for.
We've had a lot of hurdles, a lot of heartache and pain, but
all that has been worth it. I would not trade one bad day
with Colette for a lifetime of good days. There is not one
thing about what we went through that I would change because
everything we have been through has only made us a stronger
couple.
Colette is my soulmate. I know that with everything inside
of me. We met three years ago, and had a commitment ceremony
last summer. Colette is my life, my strength, my partner for
life. |
|
|
William
& Orlando
Orlando and I have been together now for 9 years and we
have gone through a lot with his being deaf and my being
hearing. We had to learn each other's worlds and we did.
Back in June of 1999 we had a commitment ceremony. And I
will tell you I still feel the same as I did the day we
met. I feel that we should have the same rights as any other
person has when two people love each other, so why can't
I marry him by law? If God did not want us to be together
he would not have let us fall in love with each other. So
who are the lawmakers to tell us whom we can love? We don't
tell them what to do so why should they tell us who we can
love and marry? I love him with all of my heart. If I could
marry him with the law behind us I would marry him all over
again and be with him for the rest of our lives.
|
|
Mike
& Donald
My partner Doni and I have been together just about six years
and going strong. We met doing theatre in May of 1998. We
had hit it off right away and knew that it was love. We had
both settled into "married" life, living together
within a few months and then got engaged at Christmas of 2002.
We are currently planning a simple commitment ceremony for
October 10 of this year. We are patiently waiting for the
legalization of gay marriage. We would have also liked to
file for domestic partnership but for some reason we haven't
been able to contact our local registrar or even the state
registrar on the topic. So until equal rights exist for gay
and lesbian couples, we will still enjoy our life as "married"
emotionally and not legally. |
|
Jo
& Tracy
It was July 7, 2002 and I was just on the computer. I get
an instant message from someone I never heard of. We talked
about ten minutes online. We exchanged phone numbers. We talked
for about a week and decided to meet in person on Friday,
July 12, 2002. We talked all night. We kissed goodbye when
she had to go to work. I've never felt it until that day we
kissed our first of many kisses. I fell in love for the first
time in my life to this wonderful woman. I was 29 and she
was 21 at the time. Very mature for her age too. I'm now 31
and she's 23 now. We want to get married with the same rights
as any married couple. I thought in America EVERYONE's equal.
You can't pick and choose who's gonna be equal and who's not.
It's not right that people who live together get rights as
a married couple. I love Tracy sooooooooooooo Much. I'd do
anything to make her happy. |
 |
Gabe
& Chris
My name is Gabe. I met my soul mate Chris three years ago
at Woody's. Chris lived two hours away in Lancaster county,
PA. I live in South Jersey. I am Colombian/Puerto Rican and
he is from German decent. We met on March 14th, 2001. We went
out on a date the following week and by March 27th Chris moved
in. He left his job and rented his house. We moved very quickly
but here we are 3 years later. I love this man with all my
heart. We've had our share of difficult times but love is
work. We came from very different backgrounds but our love
thrives. We are blessed because our friends and family completely
support our relationship and the institution of marriage for
all people. We currently live in South Jersey along with our
two cats and a puppy dog. |
|
David
& Ira
Ira and I met 16 years ago. I am now 42 and he is 46. We met
at a fishing pier in Brooklyn, New York in 1988. We started
talking to each other and decided we would go out for dinner
later that evening. After a couple of weeks of talking we
came to find out that my oldest sister was his voice teacher
when he was 13 years of age and my mother used to ride to
work with his sister. Through further conversation we came
to realize I knew a lot of his relatives. It's a small world
and after seven months we decided to rent our first apartment
together.
In 1995 we moved to New Jersey and in 1998 we decided to become
foster parents. In March of 1999 we decided to hyphenate our
last names for family unity. Then we got the phone call. There
was an eighteen-month-old who was starving and neglected and
a five-week-old brother that need a loving home. The parents
were teenagers and could not take care of two babies. The
case worker explained that they would be dropped off within
the hour if we wanted them.
Well, it wasn't even a question, we opened our door and within
seconds they were ours. Even though we were told it was a
temporary placement I knew in my heart we would be able to
adopt them. Well, after two and a half years we CO-adopted
them and became equal parents, due to the fact that the state
of New Jersey allows CO-adoption for same sex couples.
In other states one could adopt and one would have to be guardian,
and in Florida neither would be allowed to adopt.
The kids are now 5 and 6 and are doing great. We live near
family so they have females in their daily life as well. We
have been accepted by families from our kids schools and people
have really began to realize that stability and love is what
it's all about regardless of the sexual orientation of the
parents. However we are not recognized by our government.
I worked for Petco for six years and because they wont give
domestic partnership benefits I had to leave.
I now work for a major retail chain and they give domestic
partnership benefits. We are a couple of 16 years raising
two children, sending them to private school, working two
jobs, paying tax, and do not have the same rights as every
one else in this great country. In this new century it seems
that marriage is no longer a driving force in the heterosexual
community with 50% ending in divorce, maybe its time for our
government to realize, that every American needs to be treated
equal and deserves the same rights. |
 |
Joan
& Linda
From The Daily Times, Delaware County, PA; written
by Timothy Logue:
On an overcast and drizzly afternoon under an overhang outside
a Portland, Ore., courthouse, a Havertown couple celebrated
their 21-year anniversary with the exchange of wedding vows.
"I can’t even express the beauty of it," Joan
Mayer said in a phone interview from Multnomah County. "I’m
a happily married woman. It’s unbelievable!"
"I’m feeling wonderful and a little numb,"
said Mayer’s longtime partner, Linda Gilvear. "I’m
having a hard time believing this is really happening."
So
are attorney generals, state Supreme Court members, presidential
candidates and defenders of heterosexual marriage, all of
whom have watched thousands of same-sex couples secure marriage
licenses in recent weeks.
Mayer,
50, and Gilvear, 58, said the recent news out of California,
New York, New Mexico, New Jersey and Oregon pushed them to
do something they otherwise wouldn’t have.
"Once
we made the commitment to each other, having a piece of paper
didn’t mean much," Mayer said. "But now it’s
20 years later and we are getting to the stage in our lives
when you have to deal with a lot of critical issues."
Over
time, their conversations became peppered with issues like
inheritance taxes, Social Security benefits, hospital visitation
and the right to make medical decisions for one another.
"The
most important thing about marriage to us is the legal rights
that come with it," Mayer said. "If we just wanted
to have a service, we could have done it a long time ago."
Mayer,
who sells memberships for a fitness and country club, and
Gilvear, a former fund-raiser for the University of Pennsylvania
and soon-to-be reading specialist, privately committed themselves
to one another 21 years ago Wednesday. They have spent 19
of those years in their Havertown home.
The
couple’s initial plan was to fly to San Francisco, where
Mayor Gavin Newsom had given the go-ahead to grant marriage
licenses to gay couples.
That
blueprint fell by the wayside when the California Supreme
Court ordered the San Francisco County Clerk’s Office
to stop issuing same-sex licenses. Before the court issued
its temporary ruling, more than 4,000 couples tied the knot
between Feb. 12 and March 11.
"Those
plane tickets went out the window," Mayer said. "If
we wanted to follow through, it had to be Oregon."
Luckily,
one thing Gilvear and Mayer didn’t have trouble securing
was a minister.
"I
couldn’t be happier to be a part of this," said
the Rev. Kent Matthies of the Unitarian Society of Germantown.
"This is something they really deserve."
Talking
on Mayer’s cell phone shortly after officiating his first
same-sex marriage, Matthies said he witnessed "a ton
of enthusiasm and excitement mixed with a tangible sense of
urgency."
The
Unitarian Universalist Association passed a resolution 20
years ago that stated its ministers could officiate same-sex
ceremonies.
"There’s
a movement out here to recall the county councilperson who
made these marriages possible, so nobody is sure how long
this process will be allowed to continue," Matthies said.
"I think everyone who has been a part of this feels like
they are making history."
Whether
that history will translate into any tangible benefit once
Gilvear and Mayer return to Havertown is another matter entirely.
In
1996, the Pennsylvania Legislature passed a law that defines
marriage as a civil contract between a man and a woman. It
also states that same-sex marriages from other states would
not be recognized.
"We
have always been open and honest about our relationship and
(Havertown) has been a wonderful place to live," Mayer
said. "Having a marriage license -- an official document
-- gives us firmer ground to stand on if we should have to
challenge the law."
Multnomah
County, which includes Portland, has issued more than 2,500
same-sex licenses since March 3. The decision to do so came
after county commissioners determined it would be unconstitutional
to deny homosexuals a fundamental right such as marriage.
The
America Civil Liberties Union on Wednesday filed a suit on
behalf of gay couples whose marriages were not recognized
by the state’s Office of Vital Statistics.
From
the sound of their voices, Gilvear and Mayer seemed not the
least bit concerned about that legal challenge or what Pennsylvania
law had to say about their marriage license.
"There
was a couple out front of the courthouse who shot some video
for us, and another couple handed us some flowers," Mayer
said. "The license is paid for -- $60 cash. All that’s
left now is a beautiful dinner with our minister and a big
‘thank you’ party when we get back home for all
the people who have supported us." |
 |
Crystal
& Amanda
I met my wife through a mutual friend close to 5 years ago
now. Through circumstances we were finally brought together
over 2 years ago and decided to marry October 24th 2002 in
Provincetown, MA. Amanda and I live in southcentral Pennsylvania
and deal with prejudice almost everyday, but our intense love
for each other and hopes for a better future make us stronger.
It breaks my heart to think that there are those fighting
against people like Amanda and me, but it gives me hope that
there are others who are fighting for us as well. |
 |
Margaret
& Deidra
We met about five years ago and at that time I was very shy
and extremely quiet about my desire to be with Margaret. I
noticed her in class at P. G. College, it was so beautiful.
When I saw her she was glowing.....pure golden. When she looked
at me, her eyes sparkled like they danced just for me. After
the semester was over we never called each other, and the
day I decided to delete her number, I ran into her at the
school's pool. It was a dream come true for me. I always thought
I would be her soulmate, best friend, play mate, advisor and
wife. I dreamed of her many, many years before I met her but
didn't know it was her until we went to Vermont and had a
civil union ceremony. It was the way she wore her hair....De'javu!!!!
I almost fainted, it was the girl in my dreams. The ceremony
became that more emotional and intense. I love me so Margaret,
and my Maggie loves me. |
 |
Michael
& Tony
Tony and I have been together for almost 20 years.
We met on July 20, 1984, in Long Beach, CA. We started dating,
and pretty much moved in with each other after 6 months. Tony
and I had a ceremony on July 26, 1986, to bless our relationship.
A Catholic priest officiated over a full Catholic Mass in
front of more than 200 of our friends and family.
When we first met, Tony was an undergraduate student and I
was a "non-working" actor. He is now a physician
and a partner in a large family medicine practice, and I'm
an Ivy League-schooled attorney. We're both involved with
civic, cultural and political activities, in and out of the
LGBT community.
Tony and I are just as married as any heterosexual couple
we know. I take that back; we're MORE married because of all
the hardships we've both had to face for being openly gay.
For better, for worse, in sickness and in health, we have
stayed together because we love each other. I am still crazy
about him; only the Goddess knows why he puts up with me!
It's gotta be love... |
 |
Joann
& Margaret
Joann and I met in March 1994 at work. We became best friends
right off and became lovers in august 1994. We've been through
a lot of ups and downs together, I could not ever think of
being without her. We've been together now for ten years and
looking forward to being together for 80 more years. We are
still best friends and we tell each other everything and when
I say everything I mean just that. We have discussed getting
married for the last two years and this year we have made
plans to get married in 2006 or sooner. It would be wonderful
to get married and our marriage be acknowledged as a union,
with all benefits. |
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us your story: project1138@equalityforum.com |
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